These past several months have been very hard. There has been sickness and pain for myself and others I love. I have had to give up many things I love. There have been difficulties and much too much angst.
However, they have had many happinesses too. Relations with people I love have strengthened. I’ve got to share experiences I never dreamed of having. There has been laughter and joy.
I feel as if I have grown a lot.
But I’m starting to stumble.
And I feel so weak, so small, like I could never do enough. Work hard enough. Be enough.
So weak, so tired.
So I fall. I fall as the trees turned different colors and I could see.
The pain softens, just for a little maybe, but still. And things became clearer. In my slowly fading to a gray world, there was color once again. Things I once loved started coming back to me.
So I let myself fall, into the colorful Autumn, and let myself see again, those things.
Because sometimes when you let fall into the abyss, it all comes back to you, and you begin to find yourself again.
